Answering your questions.

Here are some answers to questions we have received in the past from our survivor community. We hope these answers can help survivors, advocates, and the general public learn more about trauma and survivor healing.

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Understanding Trauma & Violence
Managing Trauma Impact
Meaning Making
Seeking Help After Trauma
Supporting Survivors
Sharing Your Story
Healing Week
Understanding Trauma & Violence
Managing Trauma Impact

I was coerced into having sex with my ex- husband. I feel confused, ashamed, depressed and it's all I'm thinking about. I have moments when I'm okay and then it hits me all of a sudden. Part of me thinks it wasn't that bad because I said fine in the end after saying no repeatedly. Why do I feel like this? I can hardly breathe...

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Are there any red flags you can spot in a person to know if they may assault you or someone else?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

What makes sexual violence traumatizing?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Why do I get aroused when I talk about my sexual abuse?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Was I still sexually assaulted if I wasn’t raped, but was touched sexually without my consent?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Can it count as abuse even if this other person is also a woman and was around 10 years old? I feel like everyone is going to say that it doesn't count as abuse just for this reason.

Understanding Trauma & Violence

When I was about 4 years old my 9 year old sister started forcing me to kiss her on the mouth, I never wanted to do it but she forced me to, does it count as abuse? Or am I just being dramatic?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

When I was a child my neighbor (also a child) showed me sexual things. I only know it happened because I have flash memories of it and her asking if it felt good. I don’t remember ever saying no, or stop, or I don’t like it. After we moved, I was really hypersexual and would masturbate a lot. I would cry and feel terrible about myself because I thought it was wrong. Would this be considered child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) or am I just being dramatic??

Understanding Trauma & Violence
Supporting Survivors

Why is it so common for people to blame sexual violence survivors for their experiences?

Meaning Making

Is it ever possible to fully make amends with the person who abused or assaulted you?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Was it Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) if we were the same age (11) and I only said yes after being asked repeatedly because I felt bad for rejecting them?

Understanding Trauma & Violence
Managing Trauma Impact

Why can people who experience sexual harm experience hypersexuality after these experiences?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

How often does repeated victimization happen and how often is it by coincidence? Why does it happen?

Managing Trauma Impact

Is it normal to feel so much guilt and shame even years after the rape I experienced at the hands of my then boyfriend? He has lied and deceived me and that has added to my trauma. I also have incomplete memories of the event that I cannot remember clearly.

Understanding Trauma & Violence

I experienced abuse by a family member as a child. He is five years older than me. It was clearly abusive in many ways: it was forceful, manipulative, and there was a power imbalance. He didn’t listen when I told him to stop. The only thing is that I can’t remember when exactly it happened and how old we were, so I feel like I can’t judge him too hard because he might have been too young to be held responsible. I also worry with if he is a danger or not to others. I wish I could know for sure if I was his only victim. How do I know what to think?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Am I really a survivor if it happened online and I was never physically touched?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

In cases of child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA), is it okay/normal to continue to be friends with the other child and have it be water under the bridge?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Does it count as child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) if the sexual abuse was by someone familiar to me who was around a year older than me?

Seeking Help After Trauma

I want my family to know the full story about the sexual assault I experienced, but I risk losing them in the process. My cousin was the one that harmed me and my family agreed not to talk about it so she won’t go to jail. How do I get closure when everyone around me wants to keep it in the dark?

Managing Trauma Impact

Why do I keep making myself relive what happened, as well as versions of the event that didn't even happen and are either infinitely worse or are completely different? I keep making myself read or create stories about it and I keep getting lost in daydreams I don't want to have. Does it make me a bad person?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

When does sexual assault count as rape?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Is it normal to have experienced pleasure during an assault? I think I may have had an orgasm, but I’m not sure. I feel so betrayed by my body. I’m just too embarrassed and ashamed to ask my therapist.

Understanding Trauma & Violence
Meaning Making

How can I cope with the fact there are parts of my trauma and abuse I will never understand, know, or remember?

Supporting Survivors

What are ways families can encourage their loved ones to report gender-based violence?

Seeking Help After Trauma

What should I do if I was fired or retaliated against in my workplace for publicly disclosing the abuse I experienced?

Seeking Help After Trauma

I find getting after care counseling from trauma-informed counselors very difficult in my state. Do you have any advice?

Meaning Making
Sharing Your Story

What should you do if you experienced repeated victimization at a young age and were unaware that you were coerced by an adult to inflict child-on-child sexual abuse onto other children? How can you make amends with the people you harmed?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA): Can a victim be older than their perpetrator?

Sharing Your Story

Why can sharing your trauma story be therapeutic?

Sharing Your Story

How can I explain to my Mom that I mentally blocked out my sexual assault for two years?

Managing Trauma Impact

How do I continue to heal while attempting to build a new relationship? How do I break old habits of dependency or fear of my partner?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

If somebody perpetrates sexual assault as a young teenager, what are the odds they will they do it again?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Discuss how cyberbullying of members of LGBTQ+ community could cause psychological harm.

Understanding Trauma & Violence

I was sexually coerced by a friend of mine. I feel so guilty for avoiding him and feel as though I am doing the wrong thing, but I oscillate between hating him and not wanting him to feel bad/excluded. I hate feeling this way. Is this normal after assault by a friend?

Seeking Help After Trauma

How do I tell my parents I was raped as a teenager?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Is it normal for me to begin to forget my assault? I feel as though I am making progress and now I am forgetting what it was like to be assaulted and the memories are fading. Does this mean I overplayed the event or is this normal?

Managing Trauma Impact

Is it normal for me to miss the person who assaulted me? I even feel jealous when I learn other people get their attention positively or even negatively.

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Why do I get sexually aroused when thinking about my childhood sexual assault?

Understanding Trauma & Violence

Is it considered sexual abuse if the age difference is 6 1/2 years, and the abuser is over 18 years old?

Understanding Trauma & Violence
Seeking Help After Trauma

Can there be medical evidence 10 years later after experiencing sodomy, rape or sexual assault?

Safety Exit

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