Our Wave Pagina inicio
Menú

Contestando tus preguntas.

Aquí hay algunas respuestas y preguntas que hemos recibido en el pasado de nuestra comunidad de sobrevivientes. Esperamos que estas respuestas puedan ayudar sobrevivientes, defensores, y al público en general a aprender más sobre el trauma y la curación de sobrevivientes.

Submitir una Pregunta

Filtrar Preguntas

Understanding Trauma & Violence
Managing Trauma Impact
Meaning Making
Seeking Help After Trauma
Sharing Your Story
Supporting Survivors
Healing Week
Understanding Trauma & Violence

From ages 4-13, my older brother exposed me to pornography. He would also touch me inappropriately (inserting fingers into my buttocks area) even when I told him to stop, and made sexual comments about my body when I went through puberty, which continues today. I'm trying to understand if these behaviors constitute sexual abuse or if they were just inappropriate sibling interactions. Can you help me understand the nature of these experiences?

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

When I was 7-9 years old, I engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior with my much younger sister (who was 3-4) after being exposed to adult content. I recently disclosed this to my family and current partner after keeping it secret for over 20 years. While they have expressed forgiveness, including my sister, I'm struggling with intense guilt and shame about my childhood actions and having difficulty forgiving myself. How do I process these feelings and move forward?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

If someone's actions toward me weren't explicitly sexual in nature, but I believe their intent was sexual (such as unnecessary touching or attention that felt inappropriate), would this be considered a form of sexual abuse or harassment?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

When I was between ages 5-8, I would ask my older cousin (who was 10-14 at the time) to accompany me to a bathroom that had a couch in it. I have memories of sitting on him or hugging him from the side, and saying things like 'did you miss me.' I'm not sure if this was play or something else, as I didn't recognize it as potentially inappropriate until reflecting on it years later. I'm trying to understand if this would be considered problematic sexual behavior between siblings/cousins (COCSA) given our age difference. What steps can I take to process this memory?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

I'm a 33-year-old neurodivergent man trying to understand and classify some childhood sexual experiences. I have several distinct memories that I'm trying to make sense of: At age 5, I had what seems like childhood curiosity/imitation with a peer - sleeping without clothes and possibly kissing with another 5-year-old. At age 6, I inappropriately touched/commented on a teenage boy's body without consent, which he reported to an adult. Around this age, I also had experiences of brief kisses with other children. The most significant experiences were with my cousin (same age as me) between ages 6-10. He initiated oral sex during a sleepover, something I had no prior knowledge of, but he seemed familiar with. This continued periodically when we would see each other (1-2 times yearly). I have vague memories of his teenage brother engaging in similar acts with other young children. While I didn't resist these encounters with my cousin, I'm struggling to understand if this was mutual exploration or abuse, given our young ages and that he introduced and initiated these acts. Could my early sexual behaviors indicate previous abuse I don't remember? Or was I simply exhibiting early hypersexual behavior? I'm trying to make sense of whether I was a victim or a participant in age-appropriate exploration.

Leer Respuesta
Sharing Your Story

As a survivor of sexual assault who has worked through healing, am I obligated to share my experience with others - whether they're friends, family, or romantic partners? I'm wondering about the boundaries around disclosure and what I do or don't owe to others in terms of sharing my story.

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

Yesterday, someone touched my leg inappropriately without my consent. Since then, I've been experiencing physical discomfort - my leg feels somehow 'foreign' to me, and I keep tensing and shifting it restlessly. I'm wondering if this is a common trauma response to unwanted touch?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

At a party, I became heavily intoxicated to the point where I was not able to control my actions or form clear memories. During this time, a man kissed me twice without my clear consent, when I was too impaired to understand what was happening or express what I wanted. This experience has troubled me for a long time and I've struggled with feelings of shame. I'm trying to understand if this would be considered sexual assault. Having clarity about how to define this experience might help me process my feelings and trauma around it more effectively. Can you help me understand this?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

My older cousins showed me pornography when I was in 2nd grade and I’m trying to find out if there is an abuse category for that?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

Why do some victims of abuse become perpetrators?

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

When I was 5 and my sister was 3, we would play "knight and princess" and act out scenes from movies and stories, including romantic scenes between characters that involved kissing. This happened several times until my sister told our parents, who responded very strongly and it immediately stopped. My sister and I have a close and healthy relationship now as adults, but I feel deeply troubled looking back on this childhood behavior. I'm trying to understand if this would be considered problematic sexual behavior between siblings (COCSA) given our young ages at the time.

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

When I was a child between ages 6-13, I experienced sexual abuse from three different people at separate times. Now that I'm in high school, I notice that interactions with male teachers - even appropriate, friendly academic relationships - trigger feelings of discomfort and unsafety. These feelings remind me of past trauma, even though I rationally believe these teachers would never harm me. I'm struggling with these reactions and wondering if this response is normal and how to cope with it.

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

I was non consensually touched in my sensitive areas and I think I felt an arousal. After that I got very guilty and started harming myself. Can you help me with this?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

I'm seeking guidance about experiences from my primary school years that I'm just starting to process. When I was younger, several male classmates would repeatedly touch me inappropriately, ignoring my clear verbal protests and requests for them to stop. I remember specifically telling them it wasn't funny and begging them to leave me alone. When I reported this to a teacher who witnessed the incidents, she dismissed my concerns by saying 'they were only playing.' This response has stayed with me, along with the physical memory of the unwanted touching, which still feels very present and distressing. I've recently learned about COCSA (Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse) and would appreciate insight into whether this term applies to my experiences. I'm trying to make sense of these memories and understand how to process them.

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

Do you have any tips for talking to friends about my past sexual assault and my boundaries as a result of it? How do I approach that when they’re also triggered by sexual assault? I feel like if I just got it off my chest I’d finally feel better, but I don’t know how to do that without ruining our friendship. Thank you so much. The work that y’all do is so valuable and you’ve helped me work through stuff a lot in the past.

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

I'm struggling with memories of a past relationship that keep replaying in my head. When I was 16½, I dated a 20-year-old woman for about a year. I'm conflicted because it felt like a positive experience - she was understanding and supportive during a difficult time in my life, especially after my earlier childhood trauma. We met online, and while she made suggestive comments and requested photos and video calls involving my body, I always declined because I felt insecure about my weight. I even apologized to her later for not complying, feeling like I was being a bad boyfriend because I truly cared for her. Now I'm questioning these interactions. There wasn't any obvious manipulation or violence like in other situations, and the relationship felt genuine and caring. But something keeps triggering that 'this was inappropriate' feeling. I'm struggling to reconcile my positive memories and affection for her with this growing discomfort. How do I process these feelings?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

I need help processing something really difficult. At a party, I was extremely drunk, while this other girl was totally sober and experienced with drinking. We'd talked earlier when I was sober, nothing happened then. Later when I was drunk, we were on a couch and I asked if I could kiss her neck. She adjusted herself saying she was uncomfortable, but then said it wasn't me, just the people around us. She took me somewhere private where we kissed and I asked if she was okay with me touching her waist. She said yes, but then said she didn't want anything romantic/sexual. I respected that and stopped, but then she leaned in to kiss me again saying "let's do that one more time." She and her friend helped me to bed after. I tried talking to her about it later but she avoided it. I confided in someone I was dating, who spread a twisted version of the story making it seemed like she harassed me. Then the girl accused me of harassing her and said I pressured her while crying and begging - but I know that never happened. She spread rumors that I was a lesbian and she and my ex even made Facebook posts calling me a harasser. I got a lawyer since I had witnesses who saw what really happened. She said she wanted to talk it out but never did. Even though I was the drunk one who kept asking for consent, I'm still haunted by her accusations. I keep questioning myself - did I do something wrong?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

I'm trying to understand experiences from my childhood friendship. I had a neighbor friend who was a year older than me who would visit during summers. We were very close, but some interactions now concern me. She initiated inappropriate intimate activities, including games with physical contact, and taught me to hide these behaviors from adults. Was this abuse? Is that even possible to occur between two young girls? We had a bad friend breakup but I can’t remember any of it, or why it happened. How can I make sense of this?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

I experienced inappropriate exposure to pornography from my older cousin when I was around 5-6 years old. Later, at age 10-11, I engaged in inappropriate touching with my younger sister (age 3-4) once or twice. I didn't understand it was wrong at the time due to my early trauma and exposure to inappropriate content. I also witnessed domestic violence at home. I'm now feeling troubled about these events and seeking to understand them.

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

How do you navigate the feeling that you'll never get past your trauma?? Feeling frustrated because of it.

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

Why do I keep questioning whether what happened was abuse? Sometimes it feels clear it was inappropriate touching, but other times I doubt my experience and find myself uncertain. Is this a common response for survivors?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

I feel like it's too late for healing, and that I should have opened up about my trauma before. How do you shift from that mindset?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

In my amateur research about child-on-child sexual assault (COCSA), I noticed that the events usually happen up to the age of 14. Does this mean that 14 is the age limit?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

Is it considered sexual assault if the person didn’t touch me, but manipulated me into touching myself in front of them, while they did too?

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

How do you cope with feeling that life is unfair, especially after trauma? I've started therapy but don't feel understood. How can I deal with these feelings of injustice while trying to heal?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

Why do teenagers often stay silent about traumatic experiences? When something bad happens during adolescence, what makes it so difficult to speak up and tell someone?

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

In middle school, I experienced sexual abuse from other boys while being bullied. I didn't fully understand what was happening or if it was wrong - I was mostly afraid of being made fun of. Later, I repeated these behaviors with my younger brothers, not understanding the implications but reenacting what was done to me. This stopped after my father showed me porn. Now at 18, I'm overwhelmed with guilt and regret about what I did to my brothers. I can't forgive myself and wonder if they remember. I want to tell them someday and hope they can forgive me. Does this make me an abuser? Am I a bad person? The guilt is consuming me.

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact

Can I 'retraumatize' myself by constantly thinking about a traumatic event from my teenage years? I keep analyzing what I did or didn't do at the time. I kept it secret due to shame and guilt, and though it might not seem as 'severe' as other experiences, I wonder if my constant rumination could be harmful. Can overthinking make the trauma worse?

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

I still have feelings for my abuser. He showed me so much attention and was so kind in the beginning, and it slowly was withdrawn. And then he assaulted me, and I still feel like if I do the right things he might care about me again. He will randomly show glimpses of how it used to be, and then go back to how it is now. He’s leaving, and I know it’s dramatic, but I feel like my world is ending and I’ll never do better than him, when he leaves. I feel pathetic having these feelings towards him after what he’s done to me. What do I do?

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

I'm struggling with OCD/POCD and I'm worried about something I did at age 11-12 while watching my baby sister (age 1-2). Due to my own sexual trauma from cousins and online grooming, I developed hypersexual behaviors. When supervising my sister in the bathroom, I would masturbate while she played with toys. I would tell her to leave me alone when she seemed confused or curious. I recently learned that sexual behavior around children can be considered CSA, and I'm terrified that what I did was wrong. I would never touch a child inappropriately, but I'm scared about whether my past behavior was harmful. For context, I was a child myself dealing with untreated trauma.

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

Why can molestation have such a significant impact during adolescence, even if it only happened once? I'd like to understand more about the effects of single-incident trauma during the teenage years.

Leer Respuesta
Sharing Your Story

Why didn't my parents recognize my trauma? There were clear signs - my behavior changed suddenly, and they tried to talk to me but I couldn't tell them what happened. I wish they had pushed harder for therapy or found ways to help me open up.

Leer Respuesta
Seeking Help After Trauma

Why is it that some teens develop PTSD and others don't?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

When I was young, I experienced sexual contact with two different people - my cousin (who was two years older) and a friend. With my cousin, there was mutual touching that went on for a long time. Although sometimes I wished for the touch, I mostly felt annoyed and uncomfortable. I remember crying silently and pretending to sleep to avoid it. I have a vivid memory of hating bath time and being disgusted by bodily fluids. With my friend, I remember disconnecting and focusing on details like sunlight through a purple window rather than what was happening. Now that I'm thinking about these experiences, I feel angry but then doubt myself - wondering if I'm making it into sexual assault when maybe they didn't mean harm. Am I overthinking this?

Leer Respuesta
Managing Trauma Impact
Healing Week

I've been working hard on healing through therapy for years, practicing self-care, and recently joined a support group. I even tried pursuing legal action, but it didn't work out. Despite trying everything that's recommended, I feel like these efforts have only helped a little. I'm exhausted from constantly having to deal with the impact of someone else's actions. How do I move forward with my life?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

I'm grateful this page is here. I'm processing experiences from my childhood that I now recognize as COCSA. At age 11, a 12-year-old friend introduced me to pornography and sexual content online, which led to sexual activity between us. While I initially saw myself as the victim since I hadn't been exposed to this content before, I realize they may have been a victim too, perhaps exposed inappropriately themselves. What terrifies me now is the possibility that I might have been the perpetrator, or that they see me that way. After experiencing victimization in other ways, the thought that I might have caused someone harm is frightening. How do I understand who was the victim or perpetrator in this situation? How do I process these complex feelings?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

How does sexual abuse affect the body and mind on both a biological and psychological level, and why are humans particularly vulnerable to its impacts compared to other animals? Is there an evolutionary explanation for this? I'm particularly interested in how sexual abuse and cases of Child-on-child Sexual Abuse (COCSA) affect the body and mind, as I'm trying to understand my own experiences and how different types of abuse impact people differently.

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

I think I have feelings of love toward the person who abused me and I'm struggling to understand and cope with these emotions. Can you help me make sense of this?

Leer Respuesta
Understanding Trauma & Violence

During a waxing appointment when I was 13, the technician inappropriately touched my breast area. Though my mom was nearby, I stayed quiet despite feeling uncomfortable. Now years later, I question whether this was 'traumatic enough' to be upset about, and struggle with why I didn't speak up at the time. When I tried discussing this with a therapist, I felt they didn't validate how traumatic this experience was for me. Can you help me understand these feelings?

Leer Respuesta
Meaning Making

How should we understand responsibility in cases of child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA)? Does being a child at the time excuse or explain the harmful behavior? What level of accountability makes sense when the person who caused harm was also a child? And if we acknowledge their limited childhood understanding, how can survivors make sense of responsibility and blame for what happened to them?

Leer Respuesta

Salida de seguridad

Recursos