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Survivor story

A Strong Story From a Strong Victim of Sexual Assault

Original story

Message to a Survivor

If you were assaulted just always remember that it was not your fault. It is not your fault. Tell your self that he is garbage and you are strong and you will be okay. I got pepper spray and I go to self defense classes annually to. This may help you too.

Message of Healing

I just wish that he could be thrown in prison and/ or apologize to me.

When I was in college I met this horrible man who insisted that he wanted to date me. He insisted that we hit it off on our first date when he knew that we had nothing in common and it could never work. He smoked a pack of cigarettes a day, drank alcohol to get drunk all of the time and even used harder drugs like shrooms as he called them. I am not into any of these things. I did not get along well with him or with his family or friends, but he absolutely insisted that I continue to talk to him and be in a serious relationship with him. He continuously talked me into hanging out with him and his friends who constantly smoked and drank all the time. As I got to know him he told me that he has no hopes, no dreams, no heroes, and no aspirations. He lived with his parents and had no car. He told me that he is too lazy to even learn to drive. He also continuously talked me into doing things that I did not want to do like hang out with his friends who I did not like because they smoked and drank so much. From early on in the relationship he asked me to have unprotected sex with him and I told him, no, I will not do that. He found a way to talk me into having unprotected oral sex with him by continuously asking and telling me that I cannot get pregnant from that. I agreed to that but I did not agree to unprotected regular sex. Yet he kept asking me for unprotected regular sex over and over again. He repeatedly tried to coerce me into this and I said no every single time. One day he called my cell phone and started screaming into the phone that he could not feel enough pleasure with a condom on and is not taking no for an answer anymore. He screamed at me repeatedly over and over again and said, "I am going to force you". A few months later, I was at his friends' house with him in my deep sleep and he forced me into unprotected sex with him as I was asleep in my deep sleep. He woke me up and said that he had had unprotected (nonconsensual) sex with me because I did not give him a condom. This man is a complete rapist. If that was not bad enough he continued to drink to the point where he was drunk and began calling me and leaving me messages calling me the N word over and over again. (The N word is nigger), (I am black and he is white). I wonder if he had gotten me pregnant if he would call his own children that word. This man was THE most sinister, most disgraceful, most despicable, most wicked people I have ever ever met in my entire existence as a human being. I really wish that I never met him. It is a shame that he was ever born. I really wish that he could be deported back to his original country and thrown in prison for life.

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