#52

At this point in my life I was 14 years old and the boy that I was dating was 16. I was a virgin. The guy that I was dating constantly asked me to send him dirty texts and nudes. He frequently expressed that he wanted to have sex with me fairly often. After a while i finally agreed to it. Both of my parents were at work and he came over to my house. We went upstairs and he started taking my clothes off. I was very very uncomfortable at this point. i didnt feel ready for anyone to see my body and I felt frozen. We were both on my bed and he was leaning over me. He started moving his head downward towards my vulva and i squirmed my legs around. Everything is pretty blurry but I'm pretty sure I tried to flip over to get away from him and he just grabbed my legs really hard and continued anyway. I remember giving up because he was already doing it and I felt like I had no control in the situation. After that I was silent and he eventually penetrated me. That is how i lost my virginity and for a long time i couldn't let anyone give me oral because it made me really uncomfortable. I found out that this person is now engaged and it really upset me. I think the thing that bothers me the most about the sexual trauma I have endured in my life is that these men have taken pieces of me away, pieces that i will NEVER get back, and they just get to go on and continue living their lives like nothing even happened to me. My life got destroyed and he just got to go do whatever he wanted to...